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Kiss Me Eye Am Italian


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"...vices and morals of the middle Italian"

  Italian Association of Brands
  Italians Do It Better
  Birra Moretti
  Who Drinks Beer...
  Rino Gaetano
  Nuntereggae Più


Roberto Dondi
Word processing, html and the ropes 
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Archive 2000-01

Nuntereggae Collection Pt.1
(Once Upon A Time In Italy)

(INTRO) The Italian Comedy has been known in the history of movies as the corroding screenplay in the mood for investigating among the vices and morals of the middle Italian. A master on that style is Lina Wertmüller who did write and direct "Tutto A Posto E Niente In Ordine" (1974). In that film you can watch at several Italian regional types while they were living one on another during the boom economico. Only a few brands are quoted there but they have been strategic for the industrial development of the Italian society. Besides the names of Carosello and Mike sound like the tribute to the TV that advertised the needed products and changed the rat race of man the consumer.
Now I'm going to review --with the same harshness and excess-- the brands that make sense because they went popular in their functionality to the life of so many Italians...
Uè Paisà, Nuntereggae Più! (1)

SET1Once Upon A Time There Was A Brand...
Yomo was the one and only acid I have assumed in my lifetime (www.yomo.it).
Ambrosoli is not all I think about honey, but honey is all I think about sweetness (www.ambrosoli.it).
When a private toy is lasting so long, well it's obviously powered by Duracell (www.duracell.it).
Oh, Gillette is in the house... always there, up on the right of the bathroom! (www.gillette.it)
Did Dixan wash whiter than other detergents? I'm a bit confused on this question... (www.dixan.it).
But I know for sure that Montana was canned meat very appreciated by... Ringoooo (www.montana.it). This quick gunman was captured by advertisers from the Spaghetti-Western milieu and turned into a quick eater. Like Italians who became as quick to eat as quick to work!
Vileda is a kind of commodity to clean floor, not a true brand like Scottex that cleans tail. As paper for those services there is a thin line between commodity and mark. Note: my grandparents used to cut paper of the morning papers for cleaning the lower parts!
Tic Tac is not a watch like someone believes, it's sugar pill in pocket box --tic opens, tac closes.
Nutella is the classic Italian brand for a greedy food that you were unlikely to buy with its real name of merchandise. It sounds like spreadable cream based on cocoa and hazelnuts! A giant Nutella pot did appear in a Nanni Moretti's movie, as it is considered a substitute for tenderness by some lonely hearts (www.nutella.it).
Illy stands for quality coffee, but you may consider it a sign board for places where qualified barmen are standing on the front line to prepare the best espresso for you (www.illy.it).
Kinder is for kids searching for a surprise, afterward for a sweet snack (www.kinder.it).
Excuse me, EstaThe is no much more than a good word game...
Does Kraft make the Sottilette or do the Sottilette make Kraft? And is Kraft's headoffice based in Philadelphia? (www.kraft.com)
Simmenthal...mente buona. Period.
CasaModena is really near my home, here in the pork low-plain --aka food valley! (www.casamodena.it). Among the Emilian cured pork meat I'd suggest the Cotechino to be eaten with fagioli in umido (2).
About Martini I had already written somewhere... this brand has really gone around the world as vermouth for cocktail --Martini Dry is made of 3/4 Dry Gin and 1/4 Vermouth dry to mix along with ice cubes.
Birra Moretti comes from Friuli-Venezia Giulia, where the founder of the brewery was famous maybe for his long moustache (www.birramoretti.it). A great actor has given him a body into the commercials, so it would be true the old advertising remark: "Who drinks beer lives for 100 years" --featuring Renzo Arbore as speaker.
Whiskas is food for cats that lick their whiskers.
Cuore was vegetable oil well known thanks to an actor jumping a fence, a champion of lightness for mixed fry.
Lavazza is the powerhouse of the Italian packaged coffee and a big spender in advertising everywhere on the media since the times of donna Carmencita courted by hombre Paulista in a black and white TV... (www.lavazza.com). Who armed that legendary coffee campaign was Armando Testa, defined by some critic as a "global visualizer". Note: Armando is gerund of armare, i.e. to arm!
Auricchio is excellent Provolone cheese, and showgirl Lorenza Mario as its testimonial was certainly an excellent image (www.lorenzamario.it). By the way the pear-shaped giant provolone is fine for ending your meal.
Finally, Fini has been making Tortellini since 1912. Don't ask me the origin of that stuffed pasta because I should open a chapter on the human body... so hope the Web site reveals the secret (www.finimodena.it). Enjoy the Italian meal!
(1) Paisà:: [Southern noun] fellow countryman, fellow citizen.
(2) Fagioli in umido (ingredients for 4 people):: dried beans gr.500 - a celery rib - a little carrot - a piece of onion - 4 spoon of olive oil - ham or bacon fat gr. 40 - tinned tomatoes gr.200 - salt, pepper - boiled water with half meat extract cube.
SET2 Italians Do It Better.
At this point the question arises as to what branded products can be picked up as "tieing" in with genuine Italian production? The easiest answer is industrial dried pasta! Dried pasta at first produced locally and subsequently produced by industry does still have an exclusive Italian image. Indeed dried pasta is a natural-born oddity which arose because of the dry ventilated climate which gave dry pasta to Liguria, Latium, Campania and Sicily. Note: time ago the Web gossip had it that Barilla (www.barilla.it) had registered up to 5OO domains, each for a different name of pasta --spaghetti, penne, farfalle, maccheroni, vermicelli etc. This Italian business managers have le mani in pasta, hands down!

NOW, The Red Passion
Enter here another ethnic group...

SET3 To be continued...

(OUTRO) Just during these weeks Centromarca is running a wide advertising campaign to support the consuming of branded products. They ask the Italian consumers to write about the personal relationship with a famous brand. Managed by Saatchi & Saatchi, this campaign brought to my mind the most important brands with regards to the Italian households scenario. 

First issued July 21, short strokes July 23, 2005.©2005 Roberto Dondi - www.dmlr.org
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